Thoughts

I was walking today and I was looking up at the sky and to my surprise, I could see stars! But right then I realized how fallen we are. We've become just vessels that temporarily fill ourselves up with worldy things because we can't seem to find how to strip ourselves of our desires and wants and replace them with God. Rid yourself of your self-seeking spirit and follow the one who can really fulfill all your needs my heart seemed to say.

Then I realized something else. God has given a decision of salvation to a fallen man. That's concerning. It's like asking a drunk to make a life or death decision. Our vision is blurred, our discretion is impaired, and our judgment is lacking. We wouldn't know a Savior if we saw one.

But I think Jesus knew all that. In fact, the significance of His death was hinging on our decisions to accept it. I feel like every part of our body is calloused. Nothing comes in and nothing comes out. We are just here..... And Jesus' death could have been for nothing. But somehow, His death has still meant something. It's still moving and impacting. And it's the easiest/hardest decision of our lives.

"You saw me when you took the crown of thorns"

I bet He did. He was there for awhile. I think every single person He went through, the rest of history in His hands, He dwelled on the fact that that person might not ever realize what He did.
That probably hurt.




Ten Things I Think I Think

1.) Let her love always make you happy; let her love always hold you captive. Proverbs 5:19
I need that... soon.

2.) Can I say what David said in Psalms 17?

Pay attention to my prayer,
because I speak the truth.
You will judge that I am right;
Your eyes can see what is true.
You have examined my heart;
you have tested me all night.
You questioned me without finding anything wrong;
I have not sinned with my mouth.
I have obeyed your commands,
so I have not done what evil people do.
I have done what you told me;
I have not failed.

3.) I love Jesus. He's so dramatic and smart and amusing....

4.) Late starts aren't that great

5.) I can't seem to figure out what I want to make in ceramics that will be glorifying to Him. Just kidding God told me in the shower.

6.) I want to be like Moses. Jesus is too hip for me.

7.) I can't seem to figure out why God made the Pharoah's heart calloused and stubborn.

8.) Providential relationships: God puts people in Your life for a reason. Use them to help yourself grow and help them in the process. I think that's what loving your neighbor as yourself is all about.

9.) I see growth everywhere. I see thirst, I see longing. God is near and God wants His people back.

10.) His faithfulness is so good. Believe in all His promises. They'll come when they need to. How dramatic is God? Awesomely dramatic. WOO WOO.


God give me the willingness to change what I feel like I cannot. My battle against lust, pride, judgment, insecurities, shame, contentment, etc will be victorious because You are my shield, my defender, and the joy and peace of my heart. You've provided for me day in and day out. I feel the river that was once too wide, the mountain once too high, and the ocean once too high now reachable as I find myself closer and closer in Your arms. God I ask for big dreams. I've surrendered my dreams and ambitions to You and I hope that they bear fruit. You have called me to a higher place, to a place of righteousness. Let me deny myself and carry the cross so that I may live to my call. I have rejected Your commission and promises in my life and I repent. Help me discern Your voice so that through You I can be glorified just as Moses was glorified. I find all my fulfillment from You. Apart from You I am a sailor without His ship, a warrior without His sword. I am nothing. My hope dangles on Your every word. So please speak and speak loudly. Confirm the visions, prophecies, and promises and use me to unite Your fallen bride. I desire and seek You when the moon wakes, when all is silent and dark. See this Lord and be glorified. That is all that I wish.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.