Tears

I had a dream.

It was this little girl that I know at my community service. She's autistic. And for some reason I gave her a ride to the park for the community service event or whatever it was. And although in real life she only has a dad, it was her mom that accompanied her to the park. And I unlocked my car for them to get something and I started to walk on ahead. A little while later I looked back to them to make sure that they were okay. Then I saw the mother and realized the pain she must go through every day as she realizes her daughter will never have the life that she could've had because of some genetic mess up. And I start crying... I start crying and cannot stop because at that moment I feel the pain within my chest. And this outside voice says: "You don't need me all the time. But the man that witnesses his wife die giving birth to a son who is autistic that feels that some of it is his fault. Those are the people who need me." And I crossed this bridge and couldn't stop crying. The pain was too much. And then I woke up.... I woke up believing that God is the only one who understands everything about us. He understands the real pain. The pain of failure, shame, brokeness, hurts, insecurities, etc. All of that... He understands. And sometimes, in the midst of all the hurt, we don't necessarily need someone that can help but rather someone who would just sit there, listen, and understand.